Monday, 12 July 2021

July update

 Update as at July 12th.

It took a few weeks to get my energy levels back and I am not 100% sure they are the same as they were but I now feel good about doing everything again. I can ride, walk the dogs, climb stairs etc without getting breathless and have lots of energy which is handy as we renovate our main floor - kitchen and living room. 




I still have muted taste, I can taste sweet but not all the flavours in something. I know I am eating something savoury because I recognize it by sight but the taste is even more muted. I still cant smell the barn or dog poop (even when I am cleaning it up), my favourite bar of soap from Lush which I know has a crazy strong smell, garlic cooking or cat litter but yesterday I could suddenly smell the wood saw as it cut up hardwood flooring and the sunscreen I use. I cant smell the paint going on the walls though. It doesnt really make any sense as to what I can and can't smell.


Ducky had some slipping stifles which was a weakness from my lack of riding in the main covid time period so we are working on that with poles and transitions. We also plan to go to a couple of events this year - a Horse at Work cross rails class on August 14th is planned and a small show with a Hunter Hack class on Sept 11 but first we have a weekend obstacles event coming up in 5 days which I am uber excited about at Restless Pines with Nikki Porter. 



To be able to attend these events I have the opportunity to borrow a trailer which I am towing with the F150 that we were finally able to buy. The truck is amazing and I just plain love it!

  



The weather has been perfect, a typical NS July full of early morning and evening dog walking, deck meals, pool gazing and filter sounds, hot and humid days and nights which this year is actually hard for me and lots of evening riding.







Friday, 28 May 2021

Our Covid May

 Its been an interesting May. 

May 9th - Paul is told one of his colleagues tests positive for covid, he books a test.

May 10th - Paul and I attend tests, his is PCR, mine is rapid and I have a negative result text to me on the way home.

May 11th - 1.15pm Paul gets the call that hes tested positive! I dont respond to the news in a format entirely suitable to the work zoom I was on.

We start isolating from each other at home, its tiring and I have a whole new appreciation for those working in kitchens in restaurants and fast food establishments in masks.

May 12th - May 14th hes exhausted and sleeping a lot and loses sense of smell and taste. As we are sleeping apart I check in on him each morning with more than a little trepidation.

May 12th - the girls and I test - negative. Have a nice little new road trip to test centre that includes Tims drivethrough drinks on way home.

May 14th - the girls and I test again - negative

May 18th - the girls and I test again, another brutal PCR test for me. Get home, walk dogs, feel tired, sat downstairs feeling really cold, had bath to warm up and then to bed where I commence chills and sweats all night. Next day am so tired take day off with headache to boot. Girls get negative results.

May 19th - feel rough still but start work as a little better and get the call that I tested positive. I kind of knew it was coming. Temp at 37.9, I wonder what it was last night when I didnt think to check it. Thank God Paul feels better. Girls have new isolation end date and continue wearing masks in the house. I am either in my room or outside now. The weather is beautiful and I am so very thankful for our deck.

May 20th -fevers have gone replaced by tight chest and a prickly sensation in my lungs thats more than a little alarming. My oxygen reader says 96,97,98 so thats ok. I make sure in a low key way that my friend has my plans for Ducky that I sent on an email. The only way I could go to sleep was with the knowledge that while all my relationships may not be as I want them to be, I have nothing unsaid and nothing to apologize for.  Thats strange to have that as the comfort that enables you to actually go to sleep. I know that if I wake in the night and am winded just going to the bathroom that I have to call 911. Its so strange to be here. My joints hurt too, I cant even walk downstairs forward as my knees hurt.

May 21st - so tired, cant imagine being able to have the energy to even lunge Ducky again let alone ride again. Sat outside where I observe my oxygen at 93 and idly ponder that if it goes down to 92 I have to call EHS and thats a journey that I will be taking alone. I focus on slow deep breathing.

May 22 - still fighting the headache and tight chest but its not so bad. I now have diarrhea and feel very low.  I am so annoyed at reading all the non believers BS on line. All the government control crazy shit thats out there. Everyone is shouting at the wrong subject, the government are not trying to control us in some conspiracy way FFS. The virus is what they are trying to stop. Lose my sense of taste and smell. 

May 23-May 26 am slowly getting back to me. I cant taste or smell yet but I am back at work. 

May 27. So much better, public health should release me today but they dont call.

May 28 - still waiting for public health to officially release me from isolation. I wanted to see Ducky yesterday but no call. I so wanted to go as it was his vaccine day.


So far I feel a mix of thoughts. So glad I was able to stay home. So thankful for the level of care from public health. So cross that we got this in the first place. So afraid at times. Now so frustrated to still be waiting to be able to leave the house (and a little bit fearful that I have fallen between the cracks in the system). Half heartedly looking forward to my first vaccine dose which is now on Jun 4 (half hearted because I loathe needles and not excited about another hit to my immune system), so thankful the NS Government is vaccinating teenagers - my two have their shots booked for Jun 11.

Maybe, we will have a normal life again soon.

In the meantime a friend in this neighbourhood lost her father to this insidious virus and another friend lost her 7 year old in an accident. So much sadness and tragedy.





Friday, 30 April 2021

April update

 Its been a few months, I shall summarize below:

Ducky:

Was diagnosed with kissing spine in March after I noticed he had a really sore back. After this soul destroying (at the time) news we jumped into action. He wasnt ridden really since January and we had been working together on the ground. He's now receiving spine injections, acupuncture and massage and strengthening through pessoa work and a carefully laid out ridden agenda. I moved to a new coach who specializes in both the pessoa and hunters. 


Discovered I could still have hunter dreams despite this news as long as we follow the vets advice and started to have a lighter heart and fresh hope.


First day back on after his saddle fit:





Covid:

It had been quiet here in the Maritimes re: covid but lately with the introduction of the variants we are now back in lockdown. The girls are on day 2 of homeschool and the barn and life is back to mega restrictions.

I am a bit more scared than I probably was before, if thats possible. I feel like this is warfare against something we cant see and I want to be a survivor along with everyone I know.

Vacations:

Because of Covid I am back to only being able to watch Fishmonster each day and just wishing I could book a trip to Florida. Who knows how long it will be just a dream.

Work:

Is good.

Me personally:

I started a weight-loss journey with Noom on December 24th as I was so tired of being at 198lbs. I had been used to 195lbs after being used to 192lbs and I was so over it. With Ducks back issues I finally decided to do something about it. Today I am 173.6lbs and still going. I have a whole new outlook on food and for that I am thankful.



Tuesday, 19 January 2021

January 2021 so far

 January so far...

Has been unseasonably warm. Apart from a couple of days we have gotten away with warmer temps. I think yesterday marked the change but so far I am grateful for the first half. I hope that this doesnt mean that winter is just late and will last until June.

I am trying to consider how I look at food and what food I like to eat and what that food actually is. I spend a lot of time trying to make willpower last but we all know that its only around for a while so instead of battling I am attempting to reset my mind, please wish me luck.

Currently I am yearning for a trip down South. Its not happening of course with Covid still around in all its awfulness. The other morning I woke up feeling low about it. About the fact that it may never go away, that the vaccine wont obliterate it like I hoped, that it may always be in our lives, that 2019 may be BC (before Covid). That is a terrible thought.

Ducky and I have been focused on flat work which has been nice especially in the not so freezing cold temps and I have been working on my personal goals as a human. 


I have been walking the dogs each morning and at the weekend continue to take them somewhere new.




I am trying to really just focus on enjoying my home and the cozy-ness of it all.





Finally - rest in peace Karen, taken far too soon .

Tuesday, 29 December 2020

2021 Intentions

Every year at this time I consider the upcoming New Year and list my resolutions and then I go back to see if I have achieved them. Each year I manage to achieve some and not others. 2020 has been a weird year that has seen me reset a lot in my life and for that I am grateful.

This morning I was listening to this inspiring podcast Setting up for Success in 2021  and it stopped me in my tracks and made me reconsider everything, I then decided that for the new year I am setting intentions rather than goals. 

Below is what I heard from the podcast that resonated and I felt I had to capture it for my 2021 intentionns:

Goals are destination specific, what we want in the future, whereas intentions focus us on the present moment and are lived as a feeling in our bodies every day. When we set clear intentions it allows us to create daily plans that support that intention. This means I can work on the bigger picture that is aligned with the feeling that I want. 

That way I can feel satisfied and content and continue to be driven to continue with the intentions set. My awareness and energy will be shifted to who I am, what I do and why I do it. This allows me to clearly see how I am showing up for myself and others and see my current habits and communications and change what is not serving me, my horse or my humans.

Our beliefs create our thoughts, which create our feelings which in turn create our behaviors and then our results.


Its so very similar to a mantra I followed by the late Christopher Reeve that I lived by as we went through our emigrations process:

So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable.

As per the podcast, my two words for 2021 to allow me to be really clear and connected to the intentions are consistent and present.

Word: Consistent:

Intention:

I will show up consistently for myself, my horse and those humans that need me, in my health, my riding and exercise, my career and my communications with everyone.

Word: Present

Intention:

I will continue to work on being present on each moment in my life. I will have mindful moments throughout my workday. I will be present in every aspect of my day in whatever I am doing be it communicating with my family and friends, working, riding, at the barn, cleaning my house, making meals, listening to what is being said to me and how I respond.

Theres so much more in the podcast that I havent captured here, I invite you to listen and see if it helps you with next year too.






Tuesday, 15 December 2020

Almost Christmas 2020

Its almost Christmas and I cant ignore that last year we were in Florida at this time and noticing that China was dealing with a virus that was serious enough that they had put up temporary hospitals at warp speed and feeling sad that they were dealing with such a situation. I never once envisaged that virus affecting our lives. Back then it was on the opposite side of the world - far away, nowhere near us, their issue.

oh how things changed.

Here in Nova Scotia in mid December its been unseasonably warm and Christmas lights have been decorating homes for seemingly months. I have been enjoying both.









I miss the excitement of planning and counting down to the next vacation. Now with the vaccine starting to roll out  I feel hopeful that one day we can do that planning and countdown again. In the meantime I am starting to seriously plan our new kitchen as the current one is absolutely getting near the end of its life.





Monday, 30 November 2020

Current Favourite things in my Life

My life is pretty much a routine and I for the most part stick to the same likes and dislikes until I suddenly remember how much I used to eat overnight oats with coconut milk and wonder when I stopped even doing that. 

In light of the current lives we are all living, i.,e "different in some way", this is what seems to set my world on fire these days:

  • Working from home - now this one is fortunate really for me and the pets that see me as the new patio door opener each and all morning. I love being in this setting to work.








  • Riding my horse - since lessons reconvened Ducky and I have invested in at least two a week. Actually I invested the $$. he turned up. Its been a wonderful and enjoyable journey as we have gone from shite at jumping (mostly me) to pretty confident and almost "good" at a small course. Lessons are out again at the moment due to Covid and I am trying hard to find the silver lining to this.


  • Listening to a podcast called Take The Reins that I listen to as soon as a new episode is out. There's also a book available by the host that I really want. I can download it to my Kindle for something like $5 at the moment but I would rather the signed $30 hard copy. That way I can take it everywhere with notes and stickies all over it at the parts that literally SING to me. Never has an author /mentor affected me this much since the Baby Whisperer when Chloe was born.

  • Making our home Christmassy for the season. I am wholly into this like never before and even bought a couple of red holiday cushions from a local store. The quality is perfect and I love supporting local but I am still a little taken aback by the $$$ for these things.




  • Making bread and dough and cookies still. The cookies disappear so fast that I need to teach the girls how to make those damn things.

  • Listening everyday on FB to the morning Fish Monster report from Key West. the Fish Monster is a boat and the report is by the captain. My favourite is when he takes a walk down Duval Street. What I would have given for this daily little insight into paradise in 1999/2000 when I was first smitten.