Tuesday 17 September 2019

Forever in August

So this is hard to write.
As per the last few years, August has been mine and Aces riding time. We hack in fields that shimmer where the sound of the grass and the crickets is all I focus on as its so wonderful.
Last week on Thursday Sept 5th we unknowingly went for our very last ride together. It was an August ride but it was also work for us both in anticipation of the upcoming final show.
On the Friday I didn't ride but we went for grazing and hugs, I put his stuff safely away as a hurricane was forecast, kissed him goodbye and told him to stay safe.

Saturday morning he was sick enough to call the vet. Sunday morning after the hurricane the vet came again and again on Monday. Monday night we took him to the AVC in PEI where we talked about scary stuff that "could" happen. We left him there in their care.
Through the week he gave mixed signals, even incredibly positive ones. I really thought he would come home at the weekend.
Friday he went downhill and we threw everything at him care-wise. Friday night he continued downhill.
Saturday morning we euthanized him and I was there at the end with him, sharing all my words.

I now know he had, and would have died that day of colitis and he was in great pain at the end. He had been receiving pain relief but in the words of the vet that did the necropsy "his damage was so great inside that I am amazed he was standing".

We still don't know what caused the colitis. We may never know due to circumstance and the antibiotics that were administered so swiftly, that he needed. 50% of colitis cases never have a cause determined.
I now know more about a subject matter that I had never heard of and had no desire to learn about until a week ago.

I am heartbroken.
I am angry.
I am horrified that he suffered at all.
I am sad he wasn't home in the last week of his life.
I cannot believe he has gone.

I have to find away to understand the reason for this.
We, together, will be forever in August.

 Us taken three weeks ago

Our last ride




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