grateful

Yay for January nearly coming to a close. Having said that,. I am so loving that this January I am not buried deep in snow and ice in NL for three weeks away from my family. I am not stressed to the max trying to get everything done, even though its an almost impossible ask and I am not dreading the next encounter with the manager I had come to avoid at all costs due to his brutal and damning emotional outbursts, regardless of how hard you worked and how much you *had* achieved (which was mostly ignored)

I dont often post such an honest outlook on my work life but I have to say that the above is the truth about 90% of the time in my last job.

Currently in my new role I am still learning how things work and I hate this stage of a new job BUT I am trying hard to actually enjoy it as I am hoping against hope that this will be the very last time I feel this way in a role. That this will be the very last time I am the new girl learning the ropes of an organization.
But also I learnt so much from that highly stressful role that I know that I am a more confident person in this role than I would have been had I never lived that last role. For that, it was 100% worth it.

And I feel that I can post this now, that I can actually say it out loud and commit it to a blog post but I am no longer suffering anxiety. It has slowly left me. I am no longer on meds either. Its been a few months now but I seem to be operating without meds and anxiety seems to have left my life. It didnt announce its departure, it didnt wave a banner, it quietly left just as it quietly arrived in the first place.
I feel so incredibly grateful.