2019 New Years resolutions

I am considering 2019 New Years resolutions as I am, as per normal these days, sitting in two places at once. I have two strong drivers this year. They are always on my radar but at this point they are screaming louder than ever that they want to drive decisions and be a priority.

With our girls growing up at a frankly alarming rate, I know for a fact that trips as a family are even more precious than they have ever been. I have always been one to want to spend money on family trips as the memories alone are more than worth it. For me I get tremendous joy in the planning, the travelling, the being there enjoying the time together as a family, and then the memories that come out of it. Unfortunately trips cost money and trips to Florida even more so, also Florida is now restricted on travel dates due to high school and weather. I want heat but not hotter than hell, can’t do anything at all, heat.

Secondly, and in direct contrast to the other main driver is my need to pay down debt. For the first time I am feeling a strong want to over-pay our mortgage. To get there we need to get rid of the remainder of this line of credit. Its significantly lower but its still freakin there, like a bad smell. Ideally it will be gone and then we can pay more on the mortgage, even if its just $50 a month – ANYTHING will help me here.

So, with these in mind, the list for 2019 (in no particular order):

·         Get rid of line of credit, finally, FFS;

·         Overpay mortgage;

·         Road trip in the summer, ideally to Jenn but that requires some more responsible consideration;
·         Our weekend get-away with BFF;
·         Get Ace moving his feet, as per Buck Brannamen style of training, and continue building our relationship
·         Work towards and attend all three Salmon River shows;
·         Save and plan for our next Florida trip – I really want a couple of days back in the Keys as well as Bahama Bay;
·         As per Geneen Roth, spend less time “in the attic” and more time on every floor;
·         Really enjoy this home we have, in the present moment, every single day;
·         Start writing. I have the concept, the name and the front cover shot all worked out, now need to create the content;
·         Rock this corporate finance team;

I am hoping that all these resolutions work in correlation or as close as possible, despite some of
this being in total contrast (saving money vs spending money 😊)
Its all about balance is it not? Therefore, its being financially responsible whilst still living – its
that thin thin line.

Happy New Year!

Christmas

Its fast approaching 2019 and as usual life is flying by. We have been in Canada almost 8 years and this place is well and truly home.
I had a call with my FIL about a week or so ago which was fun as for every sentence spoken I found myself loudly or mentally translating what was said. I just couldnt help it.

FIL - " so Melissa has a new house to move into and its really nice but she has to put carpets down, so on the floor is only... um"
Me "a subfloor?"
FIL "Yes its wood so she has to order carpets but the hall and kitchen is hard"
Me "they have tile?"
FIL "Yes and the kitchen is nice, has lots of cupboards.."
Me in my head "cabinetry"
FIL "...and has the plumbing for white goods"
Me in my head "appliances"

And so it continues, this constant mental translation of words and sayings that takes place in my head.

Its been a lovely Christmas, despite me having a fairly active cold. As usual Paul cooked a delicious Christmas dinner and Ruby and co. joined us for dinner which was as always wonderful, but the differences that really stood out to me were how I felt about pretty much everything. My friends who I completely love, I am so comfortable with them and so grateful for them. The quiet, I truly loved it. The way I still feel about the tree and the decorations, usually by now I am ready for them to be gone, but this year I am still enjoying them. Boxing day was everything Boxing day should be - binge watching a vet show (the Incredible Doctor Pol) whilst Paul watched Harry Potter, snacking on sandwiches made of hot turkey, ham, sliced roast potatoes, stuffing and cold cranberry sauce. Being able to visit with Ace, walking the dogs with Paul, helping Chloe organize her new room, watching Lily paint with her new watercolours, sitting in the dark with the cats in front of the fire and looking at the lights of the house across the road surrounded by the night sky.

So much cosy and comfort of our home. Truly thankful.

A review of 2018's NY resolutions

Its December 25th and I am sat here contemplating something to eat (no idea what) while Christmas dinner cooks in the oven. Its due at 3pm and now is almost noon and I have only had toast this morning so hunger is creeping up....
I just went over 2018's new years resolutions that I put down last December to see if I managed to achieve any of them at all:

Here they are, with outcomes now we are nearing the end of the year:

1. Continue growing at work. This has gone well as now I have a bigger team in corporate accounting which I am looking forward to leading. I decided a couple of months ago that I needed a plan for some personal leadership,  so I signed up to Spotify and now listen to leadership podcasts on my way into work, its been the best most motivating use of 40 minutes in the morning that I ever thought of. 
2. Enjoy Ace and my new saddle and keep competing and improving my riding. I am enjoying my lessons with Leah and have come to realize that the three Salmon River shows are exactly what we both need each year, no more and no less.
3. Keep working on improving myself as a human being and role model for my two girls. The leadership podcasts are helping here too. They come to me for advice and I hope they always do and I am proud of who they are growing into. 
4. Work on bringing that line of credit right down. This year we decided that we would take my bonus and put it straight on the line of credit and not book our springtime, much loved, Florida trip. This was a very hard decision and it remains hard, but bringing the line of credit limit down by a huge chunk was very satisfying.
5. Go on a road trip to somewhere new this summer. We actually went to three places, Silver Lake, ME with the girls and some friends, CB with my Canadian BFF and her family and Paul and I went on a date weekend to watch Buck Brannaman in Cornish, ME. It was all fantastic.
6. Meet up with my friend Jenne, its been too long. This has sadly not yet been achieved. Its either a 3.5 day drive or a 13 hour trip with three flights. Either way its long, the drive option is affordable but frankly epic. Still processing this one.
7. Find a level of fitness that works for me. Ah yes, I currently suck in this dept. Fitness level is at an all time low right now.
8. Succesfully grow some vegetables. This too is an epic fail this year.
9. Eat meat only from local farms where animal welfare is off a high priority, guilt-free meat as I call it. Still not managed to afford this one, the most I get too is free range eggs which is of course only the tip of the iceberg. Frankly I wish those people in charge of our meat would put the damn animals first anyway.
10. Have a once a month date-night with hubby, even if its just a coffee at Tim Hortons. We are not good at this either although we are walking the dogs together more now.

Its SO dark

As usual for this time of year I am hitting that season when as soon as it gets dark (between 4pm and 5pm) it feels like PJ time.
All I want to do is get home and hunker down in front of the fire in PJs with a book or Netflix.
In the summer this time is the start of the evening and of all thing possible - beach walks, BBQs, riding, walking, hanging out in the pool etc....
Why is it so hard to do anything now?
I have the same, albeit cold, time available in the evening as I had all year. I just dont want to do a thing in that time except get ready for bed.
Maybe bears have the right idea....

How are we feeling today?

So... its 48 hours since I stop existing on FB and so far I have found the following to be true about me:

• I have way more time. I even made soup on the first evening for lunch the next day. I dont think I have ever done that and it made me aware of how much I havent been doing.
• I have been looking around more at my home and really noticing it, in colour, like really looking at it.
• I am interacting more with everyone, including the pets.
• I like Instagram, but I am sure thats because I hardly follow anyone I know but the ones I do follow are in the Keys, or RV-ing around the US, or post amazing photos of Colorado or Arizona or wherever they are on the planet.
• There, so far, is no political, religious, argumentative or negative BS in my Instagram feed and I am on it for like 10 mins, max. On FB an hour would slide away easily.
• I am back to reading my blogs so instead of reading a ton of bitchy comments on a FB post and feeling low about how shitty people generally are, I instead feel happy, enlightened, informed, free.... OF.IT.ALL
• I have watched a lot of Gossip Girl. Its nice to have real escapism, in my home, without welcoming hundreds of strangers online comments and arguments in too.
• I like how my thumbs no longer ache from constant scrolling.
• Yesterday, at lunchtime I ordered my groceries online, did some research into flying from YHZ to XNA and how much hotels cost in Arkansas and perused some webcams in the Keys. I havent looked at those webcams for years.
• I am learning how to use things like Google photos for saving my photos instead. I realize most of the world already knows how to use Google photos but I dont. I am going to change all that.
• I am decidedly happier, already (and isnt that what life is meant to be about anyway?!).

Oreo on Friday evening

Kennedy, right now, as I write this.

Deactivating Facebook

Its come, D-Day.
I was in Cape Breton back in August and I read, on FB interestingly enough, a post by someone who deactivated their FB account. It was really interesting reading. I was sat, at the time, overlooking the most beautiful scenery, with a coffee at about 6.30am. The coffee was wonderful, the birds were singing, the sound of the ocean in the bay was soothing. I was aware of NONE OF IT as I had my nose in everyones business online.

I noodled this idea on and off for the rest of the day and on and off have considered it since. And did nothing about it.

I spend a lot of time on FB, needlessly scrolling, looking at stuff I am not interested in and feeling the opinions of way too many people in my home and becoming fed up, on a regular basis, with all the passive agressive memes that I see most days.
(pet hate of mine is passive agressive BS - I mean really... say what you want to that person)..

So today, with trepidation and trembling fingers (yeah seriously) I deactivated my account. And felt immediately like I had lost a bad relationship. I was lost, instantly, even with all my wishes to leave, like I had just felt a tremendous loss.

So right now whats going through my head is thoughts on how I will find the info I need (Google), follow the people I want to (Blogs), know if its a snow day at school (School website) and be up to date on the weather (google again).

I have become so needy of FB that its actually ridiculous.

Lets see how the remainder of the week goes.

where to be on my 45th

The other night we were at dinner with friends and the conversation covered what we wanted to do for our 45th birthdays and where we wanted to be doing it....and I got to thinking about where I wanted to be for that pretty sizeable birthday...
Thankfully its far enough off to allow for some saving (ha! we laugh at the idea of having enough spare cash to actually save for anything, but one can dream)

If all the stars aligned and we had the cash and my oldest could be out of school for it (unlikely) then I think I would like to be in Tranquility Bay resort in Marathon. I have been stalking that resort on FB for a couple of years now and its all kinds of idyllic and expensive. I would also like to revisit old Key West haunts just to see how it hits me ( emotionally or nothing?)  Key West used to be my personal paradise but amongst all the beauty there is a degree of major tackiness that I steered my kids away from from the moment they could read.

I wonder if its possible...

1999 to present day

I remember back in April 1999 as I, (travelling alone and delayed by 10 hours), came out of Miami international airport to be hit by the heat and humidity and the sound of crickets. Even exhauisted as I was, I felt that I had truly reached paradise.
I recall that hotel night, the next day breakfast and the ride to the Keys in a Greyhound bus. We went through Homestead and made our way down the chain of islands until we entered the city limits of Key West. I encountered strange and interesting people on this adventure at 24 years old.
That evening I sat on a bar stool at a locals haunt in Geiger Key and drank a pina colada as the sun set and felt again that I had found myself in paradise. The emotion, the overwhelming amazement at just being there is still a strong memory.

The years that followed found us, Paul and I, back in Florida as often as financially possible. We endured 9 hour flights once a year (once we got to do it twice :-) ) for two blissful weeks. We added Orlando to this bliss and Bahama Bay where our children learned to swim in the hot tub there, and then St Augustine with its Prairie Creek.
We started to bring our children up with Florida in their lives. People used to think that the draw was the theme parks and the shopping, and while the theme parks are great, it was actually inane things like stop signs, crickets, heat, drive through coffee, different wildlife, fresh seafood, space in house, wood floors, firepits, cinammon rolls, pontiacs and chevrolets etc. Add to that funky restaurants - Conch House, Mangrove Mamas, Mangoes, Creekside Dinery, Bahama Breeze, Tradewinds.... (even the names are romantic and tropical).

When I was in Florida I used to walk, endlessly, soaking it all in. When we left I sobbed all the way to the airport. Arriving back in the UK I would then spend the next 50 weeks of the year planning 2 weeks when I could live in the present moment.

Fast forward to present day where I very much live in the present moment and have done now for 7 years.
Returning to Florida is still a trip of the heart. That drive to the Keys through Homestead down fills me with the same emotion. Orlando makes me feel like I am in paradise still. The only difference is when I am not there, I dont live waiting for the next time.
Summer here in Nova Scotia on Canadas East Coast is quintessentially that Spring that we enjoy in Florida. Same heat, same humidity, same crickets. Its called the Maritimes for a reason and it has the same laid back friendliness. Its a Canadian Florida Keys to me.

I love this Key West bumper sticker

It has beautiful beaches, seafood and the very same cinammon rolls. Stop signs and drivethrough coffee, along with a large spacious home, pool and a hot tub is my everyday. My July and August is that 2 precious weeks that I used to live for.
The rest of the year is very much Canadian which is everything I envisaged it to be.

So freakin blessed.

love July

As seems to be normal for July its been freaking hot. Thankfully not (so far, touch wood) wildfire hot like its been in California (new normal?) and Greece where people are seriously in trouble, but definitely hot.
We have constant heat warnings as hot air masses hang around causing high humidity and temps in the early 30's. I do indeed love it.

I love walking the dogs at 6.30am. Its such a pleasure to see the neighbourhood at that time of day. Hanging out in the pool after work is also so joyous and I am so grateful we have it.
Last Sunday morning I woke early at 6.30am and it was summer dark. That kind of dark thats not really dark but does allow for all the little lights to be put on around that make the ambience so adorable. I was a happy bunny (small things please me).

Unfortunately due to the intense heat it hasnt been a good riding month for Ace and I. I just dont want to ride hard in this weather, I dont think its fair on him and frankly its not enjoyable. I may have to come to the conclusion that July isnt a riding month really due to heat. It seems so far that March to June are easy to ride in (obvs the temps change but they are do-able) and then September to December. I think August is pretty similar to July in that you really need to get it in in the early morning. Not really possible on a working day.

Happy birthday mum

A little beach photo shoot

We were fortunate enough to have a beach mini photo shoot that turned out well. We are so very fortunate to have great beaches here in NS and every year I say I will spend one day every weekend on the beach.
So far, I have failed, again, in this plan.
Its almost the end of July and the only beach we have set foot on is this one for the photos.
Must.do.better

The grass is greener where you tend your lawn

Back in April we were facing large costs to repair the drains and the resulting mess in our front garden, as documented by me, in a frustrated manner here:
The drains situation

Now its July, the plumbers were paid and the grass has regrown. It did not cost us $8k as we decided to repair the ground ourselves and with help from our friends we tillered and dug and laid down grass seed. We watered and fed that baby seed and now have a healthy flourishing front garden.. in short the $4k quote to have it done was actually $600 and a ton of sweat equity #happydays

June and July - England and Maine

Its been hot. I have been busy. I have to update this blog with my England trip, with Ace and my latest horse show (2nd of the 3) and our family trip to Maine.
So much to document while summer rolls in with a blast of heat warnings.

So... I had a visit to the UK. I saw as many people as I physically could, put 800 miles on a rental Hyundai Ioniq at the cost of half a tank of gas (hybrid car, LOVED it) and saw my grandmother who was the real reason I was there as shes sick. The weather was sweet and I memory lane tripped constantly. I went back to Nannys house and honestly, wanted to move back.

But I came back and Ace and I almost immediately attended another horse show where it was very hot and we had no photographer.. so a complete 180 from the last time but fun nonetheless. We even almost missed a class as we were lunching, with tack off, having misunderstood the loudspeaker.

A couple of weekends ago we went to Maine for a lake weekend with some friends. We decided to make the trip at night

but what should have been an 8 hour drive which would have seen us roll in at 2am turned into a 12 hour drive complete with flat tire on I95 at 2am.  To compound the flat, which by itself was a pain in the butt was the fact that no one could locate the spare until we you-tubed it (2018 Dodge Caravans have them under the car, nut is in the console) and Lily had a melt down. People went missing in the night and the mosquitos were enormous and clearly starving. I recall lying on the road in the dark with the light on my phone looking for the spare and thinking how dangerous it all was.
The cottage when we eventually limped in at 7am was blissful.

It was a true break and we loved every darn second of it.

Complete with the Nissan (thank you Enterprise, I love Enterprise) that we swapped the caravan for (spares can go 271 miles by the way, dont let anyone tell you differently!), we made it by via IHOP and chik-filet, and the lookout at Mount Kathadin and are already planning next years foray to the same place.

The first show of the season

Last weekend Ace and I attended the first horse show of the year. We try to attend the three Salmon River ones as I just love the showground more than anything. You can also get points towards a series which is always fun.
This year I went with the new barn and despite the constant torrential rain and resulting mud it was a really nice day. Good team spirit, horses tried hard and an air of thankfulness to even be able to go made the day memorable. And then of course there was the rain, have I mentioned that yet?

Whilst Ace and I didnt place in Hunter, I was so pleased as he was more forward and easy to ride than hes ever been. He still has the annoying pull down but we can work on that this year. I am also no longer afraid of it, so thats a big step in the right direction for me.

These  pictures above are the first two classes, we were moderately wet but the ground in the arena was still pretty good at that point.

Ace sporting his north american style braids that I managed to conquer... first attempt too.

The three above were after it had hammered down with rain continously for about an hour. The warm up was decidedly iffy and I wasnt chancing any injuries  with him. I was also soaked as was he. For someone who was wading through a lot of water at that point, he was very sporting.

Here we were jumping in a very sodden way, those breeches started the day much lighter.

We got second place in senior road hack and here we were making our way back to his stall as his day was over, finally. We had been back for hay and water breaks and retacking three times at this point so it was good to be finished. I was so pleased with him.

Home with legs wraps and a warm bran mash, it had stopped raining by this point and the sun was out, naturally.

April update

A little update on where I am at:

Eating - too much crap again, I must return with a happy heart to healthy eating. I was doing so damn well until a month ago.

Feeling - grateful for this life, even though the weather sucks.

Waiting - for summer to turn up, this weather sucks. I am, as usual, sick and tired of the cold. I want to ride in long grass in an endless evening, walk the dogs before work, have windows open so that I can listen to the crickets, lie with one foot in the pool, soak up the heat and humidity that everyone else bitches about, feel that I simply have to put AC on in the car just to cope. Bring.It.Back

Watching - North Woods Law. I rather like it and it has the wonderful effect of sending me to sleep at night after about 20 minutes, why did I refuse a TV in the bedroom for all those years?

Planning - road trips this summer - yay!!!!!!!!! And how to get to Florida next winter now we cant just go when it suits me. Oh and what to do with Ace this year, primarily how to get him to showgrounds.

Wishing - we had pushed the plumbers to locate the backwater value inside the house instead of allowing them to dig up the entire front garden. The fight against their outrageous over-inflated final invoice goes on whilst we face a new bill to repair the construction site lawn. By the time this is all over we will have paid around $9k - ugh!
Hindsight is always 50/50.

Pondering - how much life changes as you grow and how many lessons I have learned from watching Marley and Me. The movie thats not just about a dog.

Considering - all my shortcomings as a person and how to work on them. There are many.

Facing - children that are growing up too fast and the fact that university for the oldest feels like its literally around the corner.

Frustration

This week I have been more than frustrated.
Since we have lived in this house, which for the record, I adore, we have changed the windows and the roof and the front and garage doors. Yes, these are indeed big ticket items but were necessary and compared to how big a deal it is to put a new roof on a UK home, its somewhat cheaper here to redo a roof. I think it helps that no actual tiles are going up, here they use shingle that looks a little like wallpaper to those that are not used to it (me at first!).

Old windows, roof and doors - leaky rook, windows that let in cold air.....

New windows, roof and doors- warm and dry! (oh and stylish!)

We have also put in drains for the back garden to remove the never draining water and resulting black stinky mould:

 practically rebuilt the pool, put in a new bathroom and built a fenced in area for the dogs.

Old pool liner that was changed along with pump and filter

 

 

 New bathroom

 

New fence going in:

Over time I have hankered for a pool heater to increase the time we can use the pool in the summer, a downstairs powder room for those littlies that suddenly need to pee the moment they hit the pool and then have to trapse either upstairs or downstairs trailing water, oh and a new kitchen.

Each year we have deemed all the above unaffordable for various reasons and then suddenly over the Christmas period we found we had to dig up our drains and replace them. The ensing chaos is almost over, the new drains are in at massive cost and stress and the front garden now resembles a construction site which will soon be covered in the requisite dandelions that seem to have taken over in the last couple of years.

Front garden being dug up to resolve drains issue..

So now we have to correct that and in tallying up the costs of this drainage emergency, its coming to close on $8k!
I am pissed as dreams of a pool heater are starting to wither and die once more and the thought that this $8k would have put in a powder room or been a massive chunk of a new Ikea kitchen is hard to stomach frankly.

But.... it is what it is (Canadian saying now adopted freely by me) and I have to suck it up (another one) and get over it. I guess you could say these are good problems to have.
The remaining kitchen will see another year at least...

My BFF in said kitchen....

The last February week in Florida

In February we went on our final February 10 days trip to Florida for a very long while. Our oldest starts high school in September and therefore we can kiss goodbye to a week off in February going forward. The toughest part for me is the thought that a Spring time fix of the South can only be a long weekend for the next 8 years and once thats over the girls will have finished high school so it will never be the same again, anyway.
I struggle with the thought of these types of changes. It makes me sad.

Anyway, this trip was lovely. We had the Friday through to the Sunday morning in Davenport in Bahama Bay. I know we frequent Bahama Bay every year but it never gets old. The pure joy of driving through the gates remains, the being there every second is incredibly precious, the leaving sucks big time! Those two days were the mosrt packed in, drink in every moment as usual time. I miss it alot.

On the Sunday morning we joined Don for a week back at Spinnackers Captains Quarters in AMI and it was just as relaxing as the previous year. Its no Keys, you dress up for dinner in AMI and there are a fair few snarky seniors there but its beauty doesnt fade.
I walked. Alot. Beach, neighbourhood, beach, neighbourhood again. The meals at Mar Vista Restaurant on Long Boat Key and "The Feast" on Holmes Beach delivered as before.

It was, as always, a so very important time in my year. The time of great happiness, relaxation, family time with people I love in a State I adore.
We have to get creative going forward to have time in the Keys and in Davenport so as to not create an schooling issue. Thank goodness we are but 3.5 hours direct flying time away.